It's all about the number 23... eh

No - not THAT "number 23"...

No, not Jim Carrey the comedian-wannabee-serious-actor-&-Oscar-contender
- try Jim Carey, former goaltender-extraodinaire and flash-in-the-pan-never-heard-from-again,
ever since he got traded to the team he should have shone bright for, his hometown Boston Bruins! But that is still not it here - although, who knows; Carey might have been 23 when he got traded to Boston?

Truth is though, we're in the right area or field, but with the wrong individual still... From the Bruins we have to shift our focus (alas) to the arch-rival Canadiens and a man who did WEAR number 23 throughout his career (goalies usually have a number in the 30s - or a "1"... Or a "0" as it so happened! But it is another story...)

The man we are talking about is neither funny (despite testimonial tonight to the contrary - in private he allegedly is... So what!) nor a goalie, no - although he did have a largely defensive role to play in his playing days, being labeled a "defensive offensive forward" (how confusing is that!)

He must have spent, overall, oh, I'd say 23 years in Montreal (in various functions) and yet he STILL doesn't quite speak French fluently!

I never knew, up until tonight, that his middlename was "Michel" (is that a bit of revisionism on the part of his P.C. big sister, I wonder? Maureen Newby -misspelled NEWBIE by the silly goofs of the RDS network; now that was a hoot- is the sis in question and she made a lengthy speech to honor her "generous little brother" who is a saintly uncle to her SEVEN children... SEVEN! She giggled when she revealed that too, in the middle of her speech, to an incredulous crowd at the damnable Bell Center in Montreal! Although she is an Ontario teacher, she insisted to deliver her entire speech in French too... To make a point! Or, perhaps, not to incite another one of those infamous (and senseless) Montreal riots! As a teacher, she claims to have been the most popular of all with her pupils once they found out she was "number 23's" sister... They asked for trading cards, autographs - she would in turn coerce the silly kids into putting in extra efforts and get extra-good grades before she honored their requests... I couldn't possibly refrain to mention here that I once owned "number 23's" ROOKIE CARD (an odd head shot, at a time when they always had medium standard shots of players "in typical face-off position" OR a crude, badly taken "in action" pic...) And so I had that card and what did I do with it? I sold/swapped it for a combination of periodicals, collectibles and cash! No future considerations though! Ha. But I am digressing now...)

The "number 23's" sister had been preceded to the crude podium by another lady, younger with very exotic earrings (too exotic for Montreal!) who is but a "friend" of the family... Ha. HER speech was over-praising "number 23" and all, with the exception of a few French words, in English. At least she and Maureen there DID name "number 23's" deceased WIFE and M.I.A. and presumed to be dead daughter, Laura...

SOMETHING "NUMBER 23" DID NOT DO, INCREDIBLY, WHEN HIS OWN TURN CAME TO SPEAK...!

I am talking about, of course, Bob Gainey, current general-manager of the Montreal Canadiens and former player, coach and G.M. elsewhere too...

Bob took the time to single out his TWO personal "all-stars" - Doug Jarvis and Guy Carbonneau, just because they happen to be the only two guys who centered for him when he played, basically...

DOUGIE and GUY... And not a mention of the wife or the daughter who is also gone?
BOB... What were you thinking there?!?

Fittingly, for most of the game that followed the sad ceremony (anything partly hosted by old goat Dick Irvin tends to be sad - since 1903, maybe?!?) the damn Canadiens TRAILED 2-0... TWO OMISSIONS, TWO GOALS ALLOWED DID YOU IN... So very fitting indeed! (The hometown "Habs" wound up losing it 3-0, while the rival Boston Bruins won a third in a row on the road, 5-3 over the Lightning in Tampa Bay - without any Bruins rookies being arrested for theft or worse the day before the game, like it happened to the Canadiens when THEY went down to Tampa...!)

Dougie Jarvis - he looks more like a BUTLER than a 4-time Stanley Ashtray winner than EVER! The Avengers Mansion butler though has a nicer hairline...!
And GUY... A.k.a. Carbo... That make-believe coach without the slightest clue is a posterboy for DUMB LUCK! How can any man remember to honor THAT and forget to even mention ONCE the woman who bore his children and brought them into this wretched world...?!? (Granted, Carbo is to be equated with Laura - and that may be even more baffling, so I won't get into THAT...)

Several old-timers were BOTHERED to come to this silly ceremony too (which is nothing more than the raising of another carpet up to the ceiling, to collect dust forevermore once all the way up there...) Among them, several guys nobody remembers: Dave Maley, Serge Boisvert (never to be confused with Savard, no) and Mike Lalor... Others are "local legends" of sorts: Sergio Momesso, Lucien Deblois, Ryan Walter, Bryan Skrudland... And then there was Mats Naslund who, inexplicably, boarded a plane for THIS...?!? Naslund ended his playing days with the Boston Bruins but he responded to the invitation to come and reunite with only a few of the lucky bastards of 1986 who stole one (Stanley trashcan) under incomprehensible coach Jean Perron and the leadership of captain Bob Gainey also (oh, and there was that guy, Pat, between the pipes, stealing goals from the superior competition!) So, Naslund came back for this thing honoring Gainey AND the 22nd anniversary (came close to being the number 23, eh) of that travesty... uh. championship I mean to say! And then both he and coach Jean Perron get SNUBBED and outright IGNORED during the whole speech... sheesh! BOB! What a lousy host ye art, on top of that!

They lose the game that follows (to an unimpressive Colombus Blue Jackets team coached by former Gainey guy, Ken Hitchcock. Ken sure outcoached Gainey's OTHER Guy there... HA!) and with the trading deadline approaching, certain players' free agency looming and flagrant flaws up and down his (only two days ago deemed to be) team with "great chemistry this year," we will be able to see how bad a G.M. Bob can be too!

And the ghosts of his wife and daughter are okay with this - they are the temporary new ghosts of the "Forum" at the Bell Center (no Bell Witch jokes intended - at all) and both are pissed off at Bob, I'm sure, for not being even alluded to in his speech there... (Gee, BOB - if you need a speech-writer, I AM YOUR MAN! You could have ended your speech beautifully this way: "this is such a great night, for which I am extremely grateful to all of you here. The only thing that would make it better would be if my wife and daughter Laura were also here to share this with us... MERCI MONTRÉAL!" See - THAT is how you do it, BOB! But, instead, you chose to do it so absurdly and topsy-turvily, by shouting your "merci montréal" right at the beginning of your speech and pointing out that you were doing things upside down on purpose too... No, Bob, you didn't do things upside down; you did them STUPIDLY. Now keep it going and make a couple of bad trades that place your team where it truly belongs: in the dumps!)

To those of you who think that I am being too rough or too hard on Bob here, eh, hockey is a rough game too. Oftentimes quite unnecessarily so (like Bob was in his playing days, sometimes - his entire era sure was) and the omisison in the speech is NOT made up for at all (IMHO) by the fact that all of the Canadiens (were) wearing No. 23 jerseys with "Gainey" nameplates. The Blue Jackets, whose head coach, Ken Hitchcock, was Gainey's coach with Dallas in 1999, each wore No. 23 jerseys for the ceremony that will be donated to the Gainey Foundation, a charitable organization established in the memory of Gainey's wife Cathy, who died of cancer, and his daughter Laura, who was lost at sea in December 2006.

Cathy and Laura had to be mentioned by "Mr. Strong Silent Type" himself there...

That was extremely distasteful and a lack of tact that goes beyond mere etiquette; it borders upon INHUMANITY... And the commercial pauses on RDS didn't help matters much either... In relation to those jerseys' auction, they ran a contest too, focusing on the day's "honor" and the schmuck garnering this honor. This was, of course, another one of those "really easy contests" (in appearance) that asked three too-easy-to-be-for-real questions (basically, the answer, each time, was... Bob Gainey! Duh.) and what is the prize to be won? Tickets and airfare to go see the Habs LOSE to the Bruins in Boston. (You don't think you will win -or rather steal- them all, do you, Hab-nots?) The contest is called "Les Grandes Rivalités" I do believe, and it does focus on the perennial Boston-Montreal rivalry... They showed clips of games and I'll give credit when it's due: the clips selection is evenly picked, as we see many Bruins goals (Neely on a breakway - always a joy to behold!) BUT then there are the dumb acting bits, utilizing the services of one Yvan Lambert (or is it Yvon? Who knows - and who cares!) and Pierre Bouchard, former goon turned brainiac? I don't think so! But he does WRITE - somehow! Anyway... Lambert and Bouchard are in a barber shop, well-groomed and acting vanitous when they are joined by a gruffy, long-haired and wild-bearded mock-Boston Bruins player! The throwback to the 1970s (when many Habs had long hair too!) is an obvious impostor meant to ridicule the competition and, in fairness, they do get him a shave and a haircut... But only to leave him with tiny scars all over his FACE, giving Bouchard the chance to deliver the inane line "c'est la coupe Gerry Cheevers, eh?"
HA. That's right, Piiiiierre, Gerry Cheevers did win the Stanley Cup - twice! ;) Two of the most well-deserved NHL championships of the last 50 years! (There weren't many overall, again IMHO! But that is another story!)

This is annoying, doubly so due to the fact that they used a testimonial from Cheevers during Gainey's ceremony, only to overstate the fact that Bob was physically solid in his bodychecks... Gerry Cheevers was solid too, by his own admission, but gee - he was a goalie! Bob should have been KILLED for DARING to bump into the opposiion's GOALIE! Isn't that the unwritten rule, in the barbaric NHL? Never mind...

Gainey's number became the 13th retired by the Canadiens, who will celebrate their centennial in 2009.

His No. 23 joined Nos. 1 (Jacques Plante), 2 (Doug Harvey), 4 (Jean Beliveau), 5 (Bernie "Boom-Boom" Geoffrion), 7 (Howie Morenz), 9 (Maurice "Rocket" Richard), 10 (Guy Lafleur), 12 (Dickie Moore and Yvan Cournoyer), 16 (Henri Richard), 18 (Serge Savard), 19 (Larry Robinson) and 29 (Ken Dryden).


What - you can't count too, Habs-not?
What happened to the numbers 3, 6, 8, 11, 13, 14, 15, 17, and 20 through 28...?!?
What - no one worth a penny ever wore THOSE - in the "Glorieux" history? Nooooooo - it cannot be!!!
They really could have given one of the many available slots to Yvan, so he wouldn't have to share it with Dickie - that is quite queer, y'know!
Anyway...!

So, number 23 is there now, with the other Habs has-beens...

See if I care...!

The only number 23 I care about is the one in association with Dr. Pepper - right here baby!



And you can ***** the rest...!

that's news to me... as always

Germany outrages the world when they decide to teach what the Holocaust was through... comic-books. It is indeed outrageous, yes; haven't they heard that comics are PASSÉ in Reichland? Dc's Didiot and Marvel's EnQuesada have sure RUINED the medium beyond repair... Besides, with the internet, ethernet and intranet occupying our lives 99.9% of the time now, who wants to pick up a rag printed on cheap paper anymore?!? All it does is smudge your hands (the ink comes off cheap paper!) and you can get bored for free everywhere else!

A woman pretends to be the oldest person EVER - in modern times anyhow! One hundred and twenty years-old, she claims to be... Can we really believe this old bag? Isn't she really trying to garner some perks for being the alleged elder stateswoman of the WORLD...? Getting a free ride, free meals, free limo rides AND your 15 minutes of fame on top of that is worth the lie, is it not?
Me, I'm skeptical because, just today, I was met with a bunch of highly hypocritical old bags who LIED through their ooky old yellowish teeth! They LIE as they BREATHE (still) - and the only wisdom they've truly acquired over the years is simply the refinement of the ability to LIE! I mean, come on now - a tart will not get wiser as she grows old and SENILE! They can be opportunistic on top of hypocritical though; as I believe to be the case with this alleged 120 year-old, yes...

KOSOVO now; is this silly little place truly going to be THE trigger for the Armageddon?!? Not the Middle-East? Not Irak? Not Iran?!? KOSOVO?!? The way it is forming two distinct clans - the U.S. and buddies on one side and the Usual Suspects on the other... Seems like everyone has underestimated those silly Serbs and their influence upon the rest of the gullible world, eh... They won't let Kosovo go! They're worse than Saddam's obsession with Kuwait! They just ransacked the U.S. embassy over this - and they swear on Slobodan's snout that the Western world will NOT take away Kosovo from their grasp! Sheesh - relax, Serbies! It's only real estate! If you're so keen on gaining more ground, buy stock in those Martian colonies-to-be or something...! And then get shanghaied into space, where, soon enough, Kosovo will be nothing but a small, trivial memory! Serbs In Space - that'd solve *your* problems, wouldn't it? Me, I'll be closely followed into space by all of *my* problems, I think...
(I say Serbs In Space, they say Fish In Space - ha.)

And speaking of the devils...
I can't believe the GALL and TENACITY also of some of my adversaries... THEY know who their sorry numbers are! I have but one tiny nagging & puzzling question, really... WHY do they insist, WHY?!? They've seen my resolve; they've tasted my poise and own brand of perseverence AND tenacity...! Heck, they've gotten a taste of TRUE JUSTICE, THROUGH ME! (They wouldn't have gotten any if it wasn't for me - not on this earth, they wouldn't! They would have had to wait, LIKE MOST EVERYBODY ELSE, for GOD ALMIGHTY Himself to give it to them, STICK it to them, on Judgment Day! But we're getting ahead of ourselves again - aren't we? Yeah!)

So they've seen IT ALL - with me... Luminous little me!
And yet, they keep TRYING!
Trying my PATIENCE, really...
INCREDIBLE!
Incredibly pathetic, that is.


Word to the not-so-wise: don't bother anymore.
I AM WARNING YOU.
Don't tempt me, adversaries of mine - the temptation to decimate your numbers is already very, very strong...
And I don't have to lift a finger either, pallies...

You've been warned.
À bons (ou mauvais - têtes de pioches!) entendeurs - allez vous faire foutre!
;)

that's news to me... almost

Here I was, again watching the newsfeed from the old stomping grounds (whether it was on cable or via my satellite provider is for you to wonder and try to guess; not for me to tell!) and I must say that I can't stop laughing whenever I indulge in this stuff - seriously, Comedy Central has nothing on these guys!

They lament on and on about "La Réforne Scolaire" (on TQS) and underline its necessity due to the fact that kids over there have no clue how to spell anymore... But the thing is, they are really talking about LA RÉFORME SCOLAIRE - of course.

Ok, a typo happens to the best of them (and me, I get whole sentences messed up real bad whenever my slow connection "hangs" while I type away...! So, I do sympathize, yes - but it was funny that they took SO LONG to notice their typo and correct it! There they were lamenting the fact kids are clueless and even the news broadcast makes such a glaring mistake...! Priceless. Only in Québec!)

Onwards to some so-called "cultural news" then - Sandrine Kiberlain is shooting a film on top of the famed Mount Royal (where I once shot some scenes too, for "The Wedding Dress," a short film so short, my scenes were left on the cutting room floor and trampled on by the assistant-director! But that is another story... At least I was on Mount Royal in the SUMMER, not in the dead of winter!) and so, on top of the mountain, Sandrine K says that she keeps "mean people at a distance" (she must see them come from a mile away, of course, while up there) and only surrounds herself with nice people. Sandrine? They're really not nice, you know... They're called HYPOCRITES. Québec is chock-full of them. Get on with the program!

Some people have never heard of wolf in sheep's clothing - or they think it to be strictly the stuff of fairy tales, eh?

Sandrine K, once in Quebec, would normally be very lonely on top of that mountain, if she truly was kept company exclusively by "nice people" only!

Louis Morissette, for example, is definitely in the category "anything BUT nice" but then again so are many French compatriotes of the ingenue/film director...

After that bit of "news" we get shanghaied into sports, or so it seems...
They can't stop raving about the first ever huge comeback-from-behind win in Canadiens history that occurred just last night at Montreal's Bell Center. They've stolen championships, they've won a flurry of one-goal, by-the-skin-of-their-teeth "victories" but they'd never in their long, long history come back from a 5-0 deficit. Ever. And they did it on the 19th of February of the year of our Lord 2008, against the New York Rangers who, usually, had their number... Whoopee-doo. The inane fanboys are dreaming of another "undeserved championship" again - dream on, nerds! But that is not the point I am getting at here... of course!

What made it doubly special, that "historical feat" of the 19th, was that this happened in the 100th anniversary of the franchise. And, on the 20th, it just so happened that they concocted a mini-spectacle to commemorate the birthday of one of the most simplistically-named, hastily-put together franchise of all-time...! And they assembled all the most famous local fanboys that they could find to put this together, because they knew it'd be a "labor of love" for them too...!
Denis Bouchard directing (what exactly - traffic on stage?)
something "written" by George-Hébert Germain (what did he write here - a timetable? The anecdotes to be recited by some of the Canadiens' old-timers? They could be but a revised (in not-so-pure revisionistic history fashion) pack of lies then! But I digress...)
with music by François Dompierre (what, true classic music wasn't good enough for the Habs?!? More likely it would have gone to waste there... I say classical music because this is an OSM show! Yes - the Orchestre Symphonique de Montréal is the true culprit here - and their mercenary maestro, Kent Nagano, is the mastermind behind it all too! His vain efforts to generate interest for the OSM amongst all strata of society there -something all previous Chefs d'Orchestre in place failed to do quite miserably- included a themed-concert about Terry Fox and another about that General Dallaire who basically has, as his claim to fame, the dubious honor of having witnessed a genocide taking place right before his eyes; and not having done all that much about it. That's an anniversary coming up soon too; the 15th, maybe? But they'd rather focus on the Habs' 100th and also Juste Pour Rire's 25th - read on...)

So, this would-be grandiose spectacle is put together (just as hastily as the Canadiens franchise was both named and established, way back in 1908 - their favored beer brand and sponsors, for their part, claim to be "jeune depuis 1903" - but that's another story!) and is titled... "les Glorieux."

HA.

I found it much more appropriate that, come commercial break, they announced the coming to town of the show of shows (as far as Broadway may go anyways; outdoors, on the grandest stage of all, we will get to see much better, I just know it... Again, READ ON...!) and I do mean... "les Misérables."
(Not kidding ya at all! The miserable, atrocious state of Montreal's infrastructures is now officially at the SUPRA-ALARMING stage! They can't repair the roads anymore; the moment they patch up one of their infamous "nids de poule," another appears and another and another... And the one they did repair fizzles and unravels too, in record time... By city officials' own admission, the work is always TO BE DONE for the roads, bridges and overpasses are in constant need for maintenance and restoration - 365 days a year! They were saying that and showing examples of streets that, even though only two years old, are in complete desolate state... And images of an overpass that is being DEMOLISHED BEFORE IT COLLAPSES ALL ON ITS OWN followed... And then, the cherry on top as far as I am concerned, a bridge I know very well from years past, le Pont Lachapelle, is so old it apparently has its days NUMBERED - by the looks of it! AND TO THINK THAT I WALKED ON THAT - AND SO DID MY DAD! I don't want to die due to flawed Montreal infrastructures; if I must croak, let it be due to my own flaws, ok? LOL But I am digressing again...)

Come OOOOON now - what was ever so "glorious" about the likes of Maurice, Guy, Henri, Yvan and, say, Bernard "Boom-Boom" Geoffrion?!? Athletes should have NEVER been placed upon a pedestal - EVER. Nagano or Bouchard said that these were the modern-day "heroes" - what happened to firemen all of a sudden?!? Or GOOD cops? Germain commented that it was the collective dream of a nation, anglos or "Canadiens-Français" alike, to be a Canadiens player (if you were a brainless boy or a "garçon manqué" I figure...!) and/or to see the team compete and win it all... Since when does the majority of any given people decide to indulge in something that is TRULY GOOD, George? (Tu peux ben être un George, le Germain...!)
Throughout history we've seen one constant: the masses always make the WRONG CHOICE. They chose Barabbas over Jesus, didn't they? They chose to forget about Moses and venerate a newly-crafted Golden Calf, didn't they? And they elected Dubya twice - didn't they? Verily, the only good thing about the Habs "uniting all Quebeckers, anglo or franco alike' is that they provided a DISTRACTION, so that no one in the silly province of Quebec were thinking of staging a "Révolution Tranquille" or mounting an endless and pointless debate over the validity of a French-speaking nation in North America AS LONG AS THE DAMN CANADIENS WERE PLAYING HOCKEY!!!

And, yes, calling the likes of Jean Béliveau and Pierre Bouchard (PIERRE... BOUCHARD?!? Sheesh...) "les Glorieux" reeks of idolatry (very misguided one at that) and is a sad, sad step backwards for humanity - close to being the same as when Greeks and Romans really believed there was a bunch of he-men and hedonistic ladies on top of Mount Olympus...!

Don't they have enough nicknames as it is? They're the DAMN HABS... the Canadiens... the Cans!!! The "Bleu, Blanc, Rouge"... BUT THERE IS NO GLORY THERE - THERE NEVER WAS!

Wanna know what a true GLORIOUS line-up is ALL ABOUT?
Center: JESUS-CHRIST
Right-wing: ARCHANGEL GABRIEL
Left-wing: ARCHANGEL MICHAEL
Defense: ARCHANGELS RAPHAEL & URIEL
and goaltender: ST. PETER!
(The back-up goalie must be... St. Paul?)
(And the second line must be assorted apostles!)
(Third and fourth lines: a mix of cherubs and saints!)

If you score against this truly ALL-STAR LINE-UP,
they let you not into the damnable "Hall of Fame" but rather, they let you into the Hall of Halls - Heaven!
The General Manager and Coach of that TRULY GLORIOUS TEAM Is, of course, GOD THE FATHER!

See - no silly ashtray trophy to win here (or trash can; whatever it is nowadays, Lord Stanley's piece of kitchen ware is no longer a "cup" and much less a facsimile of the Grail...!)
THERE IS MUCH, MUCH BETTER TO WIN!
Start practicing for THAT...!

But enough about this - for now! ;)

Onwards to the WEATHER!
Ah - something special on the menu for tonight, so tells me the curvaceous (even in the bitter cold of Quebec City) Colette Provencher!
A LUNAR ECLIPSE!
Wow!
And they quickly go to the authority on the subject (the boring spokesman for the Planetarium de Montreal! Again - Montreal! Arrrgghhh!) who quickly notes that, around 10pm and 11pm, when we do see the moon getting colorful (either a bright orange or a blood-red, uh, red!) it will simply due to the fact that light emanating from US, from the Earth, will be illuminating the moon, for once... How's that for turning the tables, eh? And so, the hidden message is loud and clear here: don't even think for a SECOND that it's the end of the world being announced on the greatest marquee of all there - even if the moon is crimson and cloverish! Nope, folks; it is NOT the end and no big deal at all!

Well, astronomer dude, think about it for two seconds instead of being the automaton that repeats ad nauseam what you've been taught...

Ever since lunar eclipses have occurred and been chronicled, the Earth has CHANGED. You're with me on that, so far? Good!

The light pollution has grown exponentially - and it is not the only form of pollution at all that has multiplied on our pathetic planet, of course...

So, the prophecy you dread so much that you have to explain to the masses, each time there is a lunar eclipse, WHY the moon turns a certain color, CANNOT be discounted... And, in fact, it is VALIDATED! For it said that, when the moon would turn BLOOD RED, the End would be imminent. And, quite obviously, it is the end of Earth, not the end of the moon! Since the light emanating from the EARTH will in effect accomplish the color scheme that the moon will get for an hour's time (just about) we can therefore assess that the next few lunar eclipses should be THE "blood-red moon" the prophecy alluded to, for the light coming through our atmosphere as the sun is in our back NOW is very different from both the light and the atmosphere we had during all the previous lunar eclipses! The planet wasn't the same - the sun itself wasn't as old nor as prone to flare up as it is now! Hence, NOW we can truly expect THE blood-red moon OF SIGNIFICANCE... Ominous significance and foreboding, aye! With all that in mind... Enjoy the lunar eclipse! :)

IN OTHER NEWS:
Juste Pourrir (euh... I mean, Pour Rire) also known as Just For Laughs is exporting itself in 2009, just (!) in time for its 25th anniversary. Yay.
Those are the only true exportables Quebec has, isn't it: second-rate artistics and lab rat assistants! Sheesh!
No wonder those who get the nod to get exported will go so willingly too; the grass is more greener, it IS everywhere else, while in Quebec, it's DEAD most of the year...

Another anniversary that goes hand-in-hand with the Habs' 100th is the whole blamed province of Québec's 400th! The "indefatigable" Denis Bouchard was involved in that one too, earlier in the year, and will be again as more festivities are organized all-throughout this 400th harsh winter and the rest of the year too... (lol)

Bouchard, a native from my old stomping grounds true-and-true (he even attended the same high school as I!) had this inane comment about an earlier outdoors show in which he "directed" traffic once again... He said "they survived the winter 400 years ago, the least we can do is survive a couple of hours too!" (I paraphrase, of course; why bother to dig out the quote, ad verbatim, huh? For the record though, he might have said "we can tolerate the cold for two hours too" instead of speaking of survival for his actors on stage...!)

The thing is, Denis, they did NOT survive, 400 years ago!

The first settlers in what was to become Québec City had no idea what they were getting into - and they all died that first winter here! New fools were brought in the moment the ice melted and spring made it possible for more ships from France to come by, bringing rats and pestilence with them too, but that is another story...
Les Filles Du Roy were the main attraction...! ;)
And I'm sure fur coats became the norm instantly in large part thanks to them!

I can imagine Denis skipping History class in our old alma mater... *lol*
(They called it "foxer les cours" back then!)

Just like a Denis to do so too!

Anyhow...

nuff ramblin!

much ado about ramblin'

What's so important about a crown or really a fancy little BOGUS title such as "queen of soul" - huh?

Beyonce's Grammy kerfuffle has been the subject of much debate - and quite frankly IT IS ALL SO SILLY! For Tina Turner is HER queen; she did say "hail the queen" - we never heard "of soul", did we? Tina is the queen of MANY things! She truly paved the way for Beyoncé; not Aretha! Tina is the queen of ROCK! She is the queen of RHYTHM! She also played the Acid queen in The Who's rock-opera turned cinematic feat, "Tommy" but that is another story...
Her dad weighed in and now it is set for a battle of the heavyweights, I suppose?!? (Aretha is HEAVY, you know; I'd rank her as nothing less than a superheavyweight, in fact! But that is not R-E-S-P-E-C-T, I suppose...!)

67% of surveyed peeps out there said that Aretha was the true queen of soul; while the remaining 33% went with Tina and therefore Beyoncé's bold call... Hey - this is all very subjective here! After all, even with true monarchy, the case could be made that someone else could or should be wearing the crown of the United Kingdom's royal heritage - and if that's the case for the most celebrated royal family, it is the case for all the other ones that remain out there!

We could go on about these fake queens too, indefinitely - bogus highnesses such as the "queen of vampires" for instance. Who is she really: Vampirella, Lilith or the pathetic Akasha... huh?!?
Who is the queen of the sea - Mera, Ariel or a surface-dweller such as Bélit, who was but a mere buccaneer but still... (Plus she had the title of "queen of the Black Coast" already - despite being caucasian and all... Oh well, she had dark hair, at least! A true and true sufferer of the Tarzan syndrome there! But that is another story again...)

Who is the true queen of mean now - since Leona Helmsley died, who can it be?!? Martha Stewart? No - she's so nice and tidy! Oprah Winfrey? She's so charitable! Barbara Walters? Everyone's lost interest a long time ago... Rosie O'Donnell? Ahh, NOW you may have a candidate there...!

BUT... all this is so POINTLESS!

Nobody cares who's the queen of what - or who's the king of whatever either!




For the record though, I spurn Aretha too - but in favor of Ella!

ELLA, ELLE L'A! As the lovely Frenchwoman France Gall sang so well! And, unlike others out there, I do not allow the mere fact that they "are no longer with us" to usurp the throne and give the crown to another...! With a real throne and crown, of course, we must find the next-of-kin and heir apparent; but since even real royalty is vastly FOR SHOW only nowadays, what do you think my stance is regarding bogus, vastly honorific only titles and crowns, eh?

No, my brethren, there is no death boundary here; or rather there shouldn't be! And so shall it be done - on the TLB PRIME NETWORK, anyhow!

The queen of the Fado is still Amalia
The queen of soul may be Aretha
But the queen of rock is Tina
The queen of BLACK MUSIC overall is Ella
and the queen of mean isn't Leona - cause I've found worse examples in a dozen other specimens! For their names and sad and sorry cases, check out the LAMBASTING BLOG! *LMBO*


You must admit that, with my system, it gives a whole new meaning to "the Queen is Dead - Long Live the Queen!"

It applies to the King version too... of course!

A runaround of the pathetic around ya!

Aren't those Yankees pathetic? A-Rod sets out to test the free agency waters and quickly realizes no one will have either his bloated ego or his inflated salary - and he goes back to the damn yankees with his tail between his legs, knowing full well that he'll have to make concessions now, to make up for lost revenue he cost the Yanks merely by going for free agency in the first foolish place! Then the Rocket denies taking HGH virulently - and now claims, before congress, that it was his wife that took it?!? Clemens has become such a disgrace since he left the Red Sox! And the cherry on top: petit Pettitte! Petty Pettitte? Anyways, it is not relevant for the case at hand... Now he has the gall to say that "misremembered Clemens" when he confirmed that the latter had indeed taken performance-enhancing drugs... PATHETIC!

Aren't those Canadiens pathetic? Carbo is one of the most clueless coaches in the NHL today - a poster by for DUMB LUCK if there ever was one (and there were several candidates for that dubious title in Montreal throughout the years, YES!) Then his rambuctious gang of punks on ice get into trouble off the ice - showing their true colors in the process - and he can't hold the troops together nor hide his shame! Ryan O'Byrne and Tom Kostopoulos must bring back "fond memories" of teammate John Kordic to coach Carbo - eh, Ti-Guy? May the three-game losing streak you're on now get repeated on and on throughout what's left of this season and what's left of your coaching career as well! Unlike Claude Julien, you are one of those guys who will NOT be finding a job opportunity in Boston or any major American city once it's over for you in your hometown... Maybe Colombus will give you a job - if that franchise still exists by then! As for your boss, Ti-Guy - G.M. Bob should have taken more time off to properly mourn his dear daughter Laura, IMHO. His loyalty should be with his family, not the damn CH. And while Carbo is shamed by his own current players and memories of his teammates that were even worse, Bob Gainey sees his very own former co-star, also a Guy, show without a shadow of a doubt that the Canadiens legacy leads only to no good as Guy Lafleur's genes are criminally-inclined crap and not cup-winning championship caliber at all! It shows you how truly lucky and not WORTHY they were, back in their youth... Pathetic!

Aren't those NBA west coast contenders pathetic? The Phoenix Suns most of all - for ever hoping that washed-up Shaq Attack can help their cause! It looks "good" on paper: Captain Canada and Superman Shaq on the same team - but it looks mostly tacky and silly as well! The despicable Lakers adding Pau Gasol to form a formidable duo with the sneering Kobe - brillant idea on paper too. But it won't bring a championship to Bryant's posse - because what else does it have going for it, that posse? And now the Mavs - gee, I had respect for Mark Cuban but now that is shaken too! Letting go up to seven players for Jason Kidd and a reject?!? Granted one of the guys he gives up can become an immediate free agent (Jerry Stackhouse) and come back to the fold within 30 days; the standard wait to re-sign with a team that just traded you! (You gotta love that NBA and its ways of conducting business!) But losing two draft picks for a reject and four players for Kidd is ridiculous! Kidd could not bring the Nets over the top - he will not be the Mavericks' savior either! His "unmistakable mandate" to bring the franchise he's traded to (and his sagging career) a championship (at long last) will go UNFULFILLED. Especially because the team depleted itself of any depth just to acquire their alleged "savior" - which team officials are certain is the perfect fix for all of their woes... HA! What a joke! To do this sort of overhaul NOW is pure folly; it is mid-season pretty much and the team will have too short a time to truly gel and ready itself for the daunting task at hand; a championship run! They can't do it now! And all of these western teams forget also one thing: this is the Boston Celtics' RENAISSANCE year! They made their blockbuster moves at the RIGHT TIME; before the season started! The Celts have been on a tear ever since and getting acquainted with each other better and better each game so that, when the playoffs do roll around, they will be like a veteran team gunning for their umpteenth championship together (and they sure are the franchise with the most anyway!) Basically, all these other franchises suffer as they've always suffered (whether they admit or not) from Celtic envy! Pathetic!


But all of that is just insignificant (even though "big money") sports!
Nothing to do with the most pathetic of all - the world of politics!
Politics shape our lives; and to see all these clowns vie for the attention (and all-important votes) of millions upon millions... That is quite pathetic too! All these candidates are like little kids going for the same piece of candy! They'd do anything to make this "happen" - we know it. They campaign ad nauseam, through rain and tornadoes! All to get the honor of being the next incompetent in power! Of course, it is a prestigious spot; the "most powerful man (or lesbian) in the world" - wow! Obama could be it - and get shot dead in the process. Such is the consensus regarding the outcome of THAT "power trip"... It could be Hillary too - and imagining a lesbian in the Oval Office may not be good for the economy, but it will do wonders for the country's morale, I figure! *lol*
Of course, it could not be one of DEM in power at all, but one of THEM: the Republicans! And the only one who wasn't going to be entirely boring (Mitt) has bowed out of the race... So it is either old man McCain or Pastor Huckabee - boooooooring! We all KNOW that America wants action: they'll vote for the lesbian or the black man instead! (One or the other, yes - because Hillary will most likely prefer John Edwards as running mate - he's the type of guy lesbians like! LOL And as vice-prez, Edwards will have more time to devote to his ailing wife - maybe.)
So, yeah; the lezzie or the negro (no racial or sexist slur here) They get H.L.A. and rumors of H.L.A. with the first - and potentially a reprise of both JFK AND MLK with the second! That is ACTION for you... :!

I could go on and on with many more examples of the pathetic among us - the Writers Guild and their strike, the big network executives, the movie moguls and the multi-billion dollar corporations brass... All incompetent in their own special way; all making noise for the most fickle reasons and coming up with the lesser solution (but most cost-efficient, I am sure) always...! One word does sum it all up: PATHETIC!

No, I don't give a hoot that it's just about St.Valentine's Day; I've no love lost for any of those bozos and tons more just like them!
I'd rather send Hillary my love on Dragobete's day, on the 24th - because the funny name from Romania has "bete" in it, and, in French, that's exactly what she and all of those bozos here really are: morons!
Foolish is he who actually knows not how foolish his ways truly are; all the other fools pale in comparison because the rest of us, at least, do not indulge in excesses before a live audience...!!!


'Nuff ramblin!

IN THE NEWS

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» U.S. Election '08

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New Orleans partiers usher in Mardi Gras

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Celine Dion leads pack with six nods

» More Entertainment News

Hmm...
Let's see now...
After a SUPER SUNDAY
where 97.5 million viewers
(the largest NFL audience ever)
saw a gigantic and sickening upset
take place right before their eyes...
After a MANIC MONDAY
(aren't they all...)
in which so many broken-hearted
patriotic fans had to go back to work...
After a SUPER TUESDAY
that resolved nothing at all
(except that at least 22 voters
will never vote again - and they may
have died in those tornadoes that hit
Arkansas, Tennessee and Kentucky
for truly no good reason at all - much
less any patriotic fervor of any kind
that served any purpose whatsoever.)

Well... what will it be now?
WOEFUL WEDNESDAY?
TERRIBLE THURSDAY?
FEARFUL FRIDAY?!?
SALACIOUS SATURDAY?!?

Let's not keep this up for all of February now
ok?

At least, in New Orleans
and Rio de Janeiro, both
(not to mention other spots
on this sorry globe of ours)
they know better
and they say "bah"
to everything that is not tied to
THE CARNIVAL!
;)



That qualitative given to Saturday
may yet apply after all!