Thursday, November 15, 2018

R.I.B. - Ramblings In Brief: so the world has not ended yet!

There are still far too many annoyances out there - too much crap oozing (and abusing) all over the place, especially when it comes to that Culbec God-forsaken place there - but it is not only there; no, not only... Aye, there are still far too many annoyances indeed for us to promptly attend to all of them, one at a time, intently and precisely, neatly and decisively (and not always so neatly, really... as a matter of fact, it ought to get quite messy, after a while - after a very short while at that! But I digress...) We haven't had nor devoted time to that in years anyway, here - YEARS! But that is another story! Onwards with the diatribe...  And so, we might ask once again: why, oh why bother dealing with any of it in such great depth, really? They are beneath us! Thus, we chose to adopt the expeditive and most efficient method here, permanently: blast it all to pieces, piece by piece, take no prisoners, be short and incisive, even to the point of being crude (sometimes!) and spare no one, absolutely no one in the process - while we give them no chance to retort! (The comments section remains open, mind you - SO, WE DARE YA! YES WE DO! COME ON... YOU LOUSY DIRTY RRRATS!) But while BEING QUICK ABOUT IT like that, dishing out our punishment in a less painful way (the more lethal and virulent stuff, meant for a long and painful demise (FOR THEM) and distasteful diatribe (from us) goes to the Lambasting Blog! See you THERE - but then come back quick, to HERE - y'hear?) with only little doses of pure poison at a time, evenly spread out and spaced out here (you'll see)... and yet, without a shadow of a tiny little infinitesimal doubt, we strike fatal blows here, nonetheless! (We think!) So don't get us wrong here: in doing it this way, we do not hope that it will be less painful for everyone involved - at all! Au contraire, we hope it will sting, stab, bite and burn even more furiously since none of these topics deserve any more time in the limelight than this right here (with one glaring exception now and then, really - but, to be honest, there are so few of those, it makes one want to cry, really...! But that is another story too...) Therefore, none of these stories deserved or was dignified with a full post to call it its own anywhere else on the TLB Prime Network - at blogging time, that is!

Let the rambling commence...!!! 

And to begin with... here: 

In honor of those seven (7) magnificent U.N. peacekeepers killed (mere hours ago, it would appear) while fighting those ghastly rebels in Congo... the ever-troubled Congo. 






Next! 

Have you ever heard of such a thing as... SEXSOMNIA?!? 

A convicted sexual assault offender has been granted a RE-TRIAL with this most unusual (and mostly unseen) plea - six years after being found guilty as charged!

Ryan Hartman was convicted in 2012 - now, he could be declared ''not guilty because of acute sleepwalking disorder while having wet dreams''... ?!? 

Just when you thought there could not be more absurd travesties of justice in this world...!!! 

Ryan's Hope... laid with his lawyer, we are sure... *LOL* 
He may have done that laying wide awake - for once! 

And somewhere, somehow... Harvey Weinstein's hopes have been rekindled, as well... despite having no peace right now (cue in: Paz... de la Huerta.) 







Harvey WEINSTEIN - never to be confused with
Harvey FIERSTEIN - duh!
(Ironically, the ''FIER'' part of the name
means ''proud'' in French... Gay Paris, huh?)
Harvey F is now known as #theGoodHarvey
but he'd rather be known as #TheFabHarvey... eh?
Surely someone suggested some alternative to that:
something like... #theHagHarvey perhaps?
(Hey - he is up for the role of Ursula The Sea Witch
in Sofia Coppola's remake of The Little Mermaid,
 stealing work from better, maybe even larger
actual actresses in the process - is he not?!?)


Next! 

LANDING GEAR FALLS DOWN ON AIRPLANE THAT WAS LANDING... somewhere in Newfoundland. 

MIRACULOUSLY enough, no one was reported injured - at blogging time! 

Only in Newfoundland... eh? One has a sense that, somehow, now, in the 21st Century, those old Newfie jokes are going to be making some sort of a comeback... EH? 




Next! 

Only on them news tickers will you read such things: 


R.I.P. HUNTRESS JILL






So... She passed away three (3) months ago... what?
It went under the radar - 
unlike Dolores O'Riordan's accidental O.D.

But that's another (sad) story...




...of course, the question can be asked: 
''does it still qualify as 'news ticker material' if it takes up 
the whole screen now...?'' 

Uhh...


Next! 

How can this even be possible: 



A LESBIAN DOLPHIN ?!? 
Yeah, well... If she looked like this, maybe 
we'd be a little bit more inclined to believe it: 




















Next! 

Paradise... Burns.  
Let that sink in. 
Okay, it is only Californication's demented 
version of Paradise - called Malibu, really... 
Although there is a locality called Paradise, too... 
And there's a Bearadise somewhere in the U.S. too... 
On the opposite coast, bearily... 






It is not popular with PETA, though: 




Who are we to BEARIEVE...? 
BEARATE...?
BELIEVE?!? 



Bear witness to this, Ty Berius: 
let's call the whole thing off!


Next! 

Only thing is - we cannot completely omit the sad (very sad) topic of those wildfires in California now - where Paradise turned into Hell quite in a hell of a hurry there... 


Paradise Lost... 
Milton never saw it like this. 




Then again... 
His vision was not better. 
Or worse. 
Just... different.


We know that Paradise... 
is not on this Earth, anyway. 


Apocalyptic visions like this 
confirm it well... 






WE ARE... IN HELL ALREADY. 

Next! 

Now what are those oddest of news coming out of COLOMBIA though - enough to make us think they truly are weirder than both Canada and Cuba --- Combined!!! 


(as if the drugs & coffee alone 
did not lead us to think so already!)  


FROGS - they are numerous, apparently, 
down in Colombia! 
There's a lot of them... 






But to find 216 of them 
-the very poisonous froggy kind, too- 
in the toilets of an airport... 


Bogota is off our list - 
far, far away from BOSTON! 

Next! 

And only in Culbec, Canada... 

After turning into an ''O.B.L.'' (French for a non-lucrative organisation - status comes in very handy when it comes time to produce income tax reports!) the century-old newspaper ''La Presse'' (which is Montreal's version of the New York Post - shall we say?) is now desperate to further cut them pesky costs: they're asking many of the remaining journalists that are remunerated to leave on early retirement! 

And to think that they were thrilled 
with what the future would bring 
just a few MONTHS ago... 






Always said it: 
journalists are full of themselves - 
and bloggers are not inferior to them! 

Both are getting death threats, too... 
Almost in equal numbers. 


Next! 

Journalists that are getting offed in shocking, horrid circumstances are making the news far more often though - that is undeniable...


In Bulgaria: Viktoria Marinova 


In Malta: Daphne Caruana Galizia


In Turkey, most recently: 
Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi 


And there have been many others, in such a short time...

















And, now, out of Cleveland of all places, 
reporter Nikki Delamotte...


A lookalike of Bulgaria's Viktoria Marinova - coincidentally. 
A very lugubrious coincidence, yes... 


So, yeah - to be fair - it is like open season on the nosey journalist/reporter type... While all I ever heard of, blogger-wise, was one guy being sentenced to be whipped a lot -and imprisoned- for blasphemy...

Even Lois Lane died, recently...


REST IN PEACE, ALL. 


Next! 

Only thing is (and that debate rages on; goes on and on; will never end!) the SOUL DOES LIVE ON - there is no question about it! Albert Einstein himself knew so and stated so much: no energy ever dissipates - it just displaces in both the known and unknown universe! (Multiverse, if you prefer...!) 

And speaking of multiverses...












































haw - no!!!


NOT HAWKING 
AGAIN!!!


Next! 

Only DC and Marvel appear to make any use of the theory, nowadays - whereas it was a staple of good old, cheap but somehow sophisticated (?) science-fiction, back in the day - now, it is the exclusive right of those two overgrown comicbookies companies!!! 

And what do they do with it, exactly...?

They use it as the simplest, safest excuse to cash cow all of their properties, that's what: for, now, it is perfectly legitimate to (try and) sell us a dozen different versions (MINIMUM) of their God-Damn BATMAN... SPIDER-MAN... LOBO... DEADPOOL... VENOM... JOKER... HARLEY QUINN... 
you name them!










































NO - we're NOT buying!

Next! 

The venerable OXFORD DICTIONARY has announced that it has made its selection for the WORD OF THE YEAR, folks...

And the winner for 2018 is... TOXIC! 


I knew this freak would make a comeback... SOON! 
And his American ways have overwhelmed the Brits, too! 
So much for thy Brexit... THEUH-REESA!  
But that is another story...
Enjoy more toxicity now - 2018 is not over yet! 































Coming up, quick on the heels of this amazing Toxic Comeback,  
will be, in no particular order: 
Freakazoid... Earthworm Jim... Cabbage Patch Kids... 
The Mask... Night Man... The Herculoids... Captain Power... 
and everybody's favorite - Condorman! 


Next!

Quite frankly, folks...

THE NEWS, these days... are quite depressing! 














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