R.I.B. - Ramblings In Brief - Redux!
Too many annoyances out there - too much crap all over the place - to promptly attend to, really... And why bother dealing with any of it in depth either? Thus, we chose to adopt the expeditive and most efficient method, permanently: blast it all to pieces piece by piece, take no prisoners, spare no one! But doing so in a less painful way, with little doses at a time! Now don't get us wrong here: in doing so, we do not hope that it will be less painful for everyone involved - at all! Au contraire, we hope it will sting, stab, bite and burn even more furiously since none of these topics (with one glaring exception now and then, really - but, to be honest, there are so few of those it makes one want to cry, really...! But that is another story.) hence, none of these stories deserved or was dignified with a full post to call its own anywhere else on the TLB Prime Network - at blogging time, that is!
Hence, here we go again...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So what's that latest genial tip that the fine folks from Flare have given us all now - what's that? "Don't wash your jeans - freeze them!" FREEZE? And they are serious too...
Denim retailers from Levi's to Gap want you to stop washing your jeans after every wear. Ultimately, the more you wash, the more water you waste and the more your denim will fade. To benefit the planet and your wallet, freeze your jeans instead. By slipping your pants into a plastic bag and tossing them in the freezer for a night or two, you can kill odour causing bacteria, preserve your worn-in fit, and maintain the colour so that they'll look brand new way longer. Plus, you will end up doing laundry less frequently. Time for a bigger freezer.
Watch Now: How to freeze your jeans by the Gap
Brought to you by... Yahoo! In collaboration with Flare and Shine. Just call them The Three Stooges of Modern Living already. But wait - Gap is involved too. Gap 1969! (Why did it have to be 1969 - sigh - why?) So I guess it really is the Four Marx Brothers of Odd Ideas here...!
But enough about this...
Next!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There is this campaign going in good ol'Culbec - a whole campaign featuring all imaginable local "stars" in the most simple attire, dans le plus simple apanage therefore...!
The slogan used is "underneath, we are all the same" - and, as with everything else in Culbec that is meant to have a real impact, it is a bilingual campaign of course, one that states that "en dessous, on est tous pareils" for their local rabble to be reminded of that...
Centraide is behind this massive injection of porn into the collective - porn for a good cause, sure, but porn it still is...! I mean, look at the facts: here (and there's even more here!)
As they call it, mostly to sound vain and self-grandiloquent, "le Grand Montréal" (meaning, in truth, just the greater area of that vastly polluted oversized township floating on a utterly polluted body of water no longer fit to be called a "river") calls the population to give, give generously, to all the needy, all the poor that there are in the area... And so, just to stir everyone into donate large sums of cash asap, they went out and gained the participation of a whole bunch of second-rate "stars" (they may be top notch in Culbec - but that only means second banana material everywhere else) to donate their time and sacrifice their dignity by shedding their clothes for this... One supposes that is all they donated, since there is no evidence of anything else, and that it wasn't hard at all for the majority of them to get butt naked in the public eye since several of them do so routinely already...! But that is another story or another bunch of sordid stories...
It doesn't get much more sordid than this though: look at this particular shot right here:
These are two sisters there: Mitsou, Culbec's own version of Mad-Onna (lest it is Cicciolina) turned magazine editor an TV hostess, with her troubled young sibling, Abeille Gélinas, lamented forer VJ at MusiquePoche, er, MusiquePluche, er, voyons, MusiquePlus yeah - the township's cheap version of MTV. Both sisters are butt naked here, in a togetherness evocative of the time when those twins were doing Hammer films together in the 70s or the time when Shannon Tweed brought her younger sis along for a Playboy photoshoot in the early 90s... Or how about the time Penelope Cruz made out with her own sister in a video directed by their brother - just to help out the kid bro gain some instant notoriety? All good causes right there, right? Only such things could bring two sisters so close...!
In other shots - the bereaved Joannie Rochette loks just sad enough on her pic - she takes after Sylvie Fréchette in a tradition of Olympic athletes hailing from Culbec that compete no matter what tragedy befalls them... But Syivie never disrobed so soon after - or ever, in fact - after the fact!
The whole local band called Simple Plan took everything off for this campaign, too - talk about standing united! Did they ever see their inspiration, the great U.K. outfit Simple Minds, do anything like this, though? Granted, some of the Simple Minds band members didn't live long enough to see such an, er, opportunity come their way... The surviving ones, and the replacements, were much too British, I guess: no sex please, we're British - right? Right...
Absent from this campaign -and, as they would say, brillant, incandescent, resplendissant par leur absence- are several punks whose style, demeanor, candor an all-around "punkiness" truly made this sort of thing quite simply perfect for them! So, why did they not participate? Why were they not invited to take part in this nakedfest for a gooder-than-good cause?!? We are thinking, most specifically here, of loudmouth Guy A. Lepage, so-called comedian Mike Ward and several politicians maybe...? (Anyone who ever wondered what Pauline Marois looks like unclothed raise your hand - HAND I said!)
Sure, the sight of these punks with no clothes on would have been quite traumatic - and people would have developed an aversion toward Centraide rather than the opposite beneficial effect so desperately sought here...!
But then again - maybe it would have spurred on the masses to give loads of money - just in the hopes that they retire those shots from the myriad places that they have been assailing every innocent pair of eyes: in the subway, on the sides of buses, on several billboards across town...
No wonder Hugh Hefner is in trouble these days - he no longer has the monopoly on smuttiness... I mean, "tasteful nudity", right...
Next!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Speaking of GUY A...
Recently there were rumours that he, his old cohorts from that wretched RBO clique and their former manager too, would all be getting to be the recipients of some sort of honorific emblem from their government - a medal or something...!
That boggles the mind - mais passons...
Guy A Lepage has had such a mean streak come out of him at all levels since he started manifesting himself to the masses: you wouldn't believe... If you think I'm mean, sometimes, what will you think of this guy -Guy- then? Let's look at a few highlights here...
On the radio, where RBO started out, anything was fair game. He would mercilessly make fun of everyone and anyone, as any true comedian would do, right? One of his favorite victims was Belgazou. Belgazou was the stage name (ou nom d'artiste) of some local singer who registered a string of hits while RBO were still trying to make a (nasty) reputation for themselves. Talk About It, "L'Accélérateur" and "Quitter Ton Île" were such songs that made Belgazou, née Diane Guérin, the Culbec precursor of Ke$ha, if you will... RBO, led by Guy A, could not stop making fun of Guérin's chosen nom d'artiste - they thought "Belgazou" just sounded so goofy that they couldn't let up mocking it!
Soon enough, Belgazou's career was over.
On the 10th anniversary of the now deemed to be a "phenomenon" RBO (which stands for Rock et Belles Oreilles - more than evidently based upon the French name of one Huckleberry Hound which was "Roquet Belles Oreilles" - now isn't THAT goofy, eh?) we saw Diane Guérin come out with a bouquet of all things (not a stink bomb) for Guy A... No hard feelings - good.
Guy A went on to do some TV with his RBO gang, a period of time during which they spoofed everything, everyone and did so mercilessly as without one iota of discrimination either. Guy A shone through mostly with his portrayal of the amalgamatuon of a generic super-hero type (say, Superman) and the Lord of lords Himself, Jesus-Christ. Once again, the simplest name was given to the concept: "Super-Jésus". I won't link that up here: if you want to peek at it, you look for it on YouTube or somewhere else...!
Also during that period, near the end of it really, the group was given the momentous task to helm the year-end special mimicking the SRC Bye Bye tradition: they would, ironically, do some Bye Bye shows of their own in later years. But that particular one, the first such experience of the kind for them, was done for the defunct network TQS - is it any wonder it is a defunct network now? In it, the group had the brilliant idea to spoof the separatist Parti Québécois and Bloc Québécois into a nazi-type of oppression that had politician Lucien Bouchard rethink his political aspirations, career and heck, even agenda!
No one, absolutely no one thought it was funny. In poor taste, yes - extreme poor taste - that was unanimous. But funny? Not a chance.
Perhaps due to their lack of funny bone, the band disbanded. RBO is indeed gifted but only for biting satire and that can be done by anyone - even Ann Coulter. They are not endowed with genuine funny bones, in the sense that Jerry Lewis gave to the expression. One of them went on to do some commercials, being some sort of Jon Lovitz or Leslie Nielsen of Culbec. Another went on to direct - given that chance by his connections. Another still went right back to radio. Guy A went on to try and be the Jay Leno of Culbec television. And he was given that chance by nothing less than the SRC, la Société Radio-Canada, clearly desperate to reconnect with the people and stop being perceived as an elitist. The SRC homegrown talent (Patrice L'Écuyer - that's it) was given a talk-show of his own once upon a time - but it simply failed to attract any viewership. Guy A, through his sheer controversial style, does manage so much, at least. Guy A chose an openly gay co-host, in order to be deemed to be "a good guy after all". And he accepts, unlike two former members, to reunite periodically with his former cohorts of RBO for joint projects, giving a chance to the other three guys to make some extra cash, as they were not so fortunate to land what Guy A landed, somehow...
On that show that he has on the SRC (only once a week, every Sunday night to boot - that is the closest that he can get to be the Culbec version of Jay Leno - and he needs a lead-in show featuring a CGI host that used to be a puppet: Gérard D. Laflaque) Guy A has shown himself to be less than a good guy though. And, on occasion, he even shows himself to be quite the jerk. Even foreign guests have noticed that: one notable, hailing from France, stated after his experience on the show that he now understood what the "A" stood for... Guy A once invited former singing star Chantal Pary, expressly to embarrass her with questions about her remarriage with a much younger, obviously gay, chubby, would-be singing star guy... Also on his agenda were questions about the time she got caught shoplifting. Had she not been caught giving in to her compulsive kleptomania, she would not have been invited to the show. What does Guy A care about former stars and what they may be doing now, if it isn't good enough to embarrass in front of his viewers? Said viewerbase is diminished every Sunday though, as the rival TVA chose Sunday to have broadcast their reality-TV crap called "Occupation Double" - and, this time, they burst their budget and went out to Europe, setting up their contestants in Portugal (which is paradise, weather-wise, compared to Culbec and Canada overall...) helping out a country in economical turmoil by the same token - not that Portugal really needs that kind of help... But that is another story.
Guy A likes to humiliate, basically - it is in his nature, no matter what he tries to say or do.
And it was never more evident than when he made a statement during his acceptance of that medal he got - whatever it was.
Fact is, whatever it may be, it does come from the government of Culbec - and so, it champions the use of the French language (le joual, really - but that is another story too) and Guy A felt like showing off a bit then...
Guy A claimed that he was appalled by any commerce that did not serve its clients in French. And he further stated that every single time he went into some business establishment and the personnel there approached him in English, he just turned tail and left. Not only that, he would then pull out his cell phone and rat on them to the august Office de la Protection de la Langue Française...!
Guy A - don't you realize that by revealing these details (if any of it is true, of course - and I am sure that the part where he gets approached in English is) you are in fact revealing, all at once, how execrable and lacking in notoriety you really are, in truth? Because, if you rat on them every time, you are like the nazi of service - YOU! Not Bouchard, not anyone else of the PQ or, coincidentally alos near-defunct BQ now...
And if they approach you in English, then it implies that they don't have any clue whatsoever who in blue blazes you are.
Now that is the honor that you truly deserve, Guy A.
And I tell you so here - IN ENGLISH.
;-)
Hence, here we go again...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So what's that latest genial tip that the fine folks from Flare have given us all now - what's that? "Don't wash your jeans - freeze them!" FREEZE? And they are serious too...
Denim retailers from Levi's to Gap want you to stop washing your jeans after every wear. Ultimately, the more you wash, the more water you waste and the more your denim will fade. To benefit the planet and your wallet, freeze your jeans instead. By slipping your pants into a plastic bag and tossing them in the freezer for a night or two, you can kill odour causing bacteria, preserve your worn-in fit, and maintain the colour so that they'll look brand new way longer. Plus, you will end up doing laundry less frequently. Time for a bigger freezer.
Watch Now: How to freeze your jeans by the Gap
Brought to you by... Yahoo! In collaboration with Flare and Shine. Just call them The Three Stooges of Modern Living already. But wait - Gap is involved too. Gap 1969! (Why did it have to be 1969 - sigh - why?) So I guess it really is the Four Marx Brothers of Odd Ideas here...!
But enough about this...
Next!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There is this campaign going in good ol'Culbec - a whole campaign featuring all imaginable local "stars" in the most simple attire, dans le plus simple apanage therefore...!
The slogan used is "underneath, we are all the same" - and, as with everything else in Culbec that is meant to have a real impact, it is a bilingual campaign of course, one that states that "en dessous, on est tous pareils" for their local rabble to be reminded of that...
Centraide is behind this massive injection of porn into the collective - porn for a good cause, sure, but porn it still is...! I mean, look at the facts: here (and there's even more here!)
As they call it, mostly to sound vain and self-grandiloquent, "le Grand Montréal" (meaning, in truth, just the greater area of that vastly polluted oversized township floating on a utterly polluted body of water no longer fit to be called a "river") calls the population to give, give generously, to all the needy, all the poor that there are in the area... And so, just to stir everyone into donate large sums of cash asap, they went out and gained the participation of a whole bunch of second-rate "stars" (they may be top notch in Culbec - but that only means second banana material everywhere else) to donate their time and sacrifice their dignity by shedding their clothes for this... One supposes that is all they donated, since there is no evidence of anything else, and that it wasn't hard at all for the majority of them to get butt naked in the public eye since several of them do so routinely already...! But that is another story or another bunch of sordid stories...
It doesn't get much more sordid than this though: look at this particular shot right here:
These are two sisters there: Mitsou, Culbec's own version of Mad-Onna (lest it is Cicciolina) turned magazine editor an TV hostess, with her troubled young sibling, Abeille Gélinas, lamented forer VJ at MusiquePoche, er, MusiquePluche, er, voyons, MusiquePlus yeah - the township's cheap version of MTV. Both sisters are butt naked here, in a togetherness evocative of the time when those twins were doing Hammer films together in the 70s or the time when Shannon Tweed brought her younger sis along for a Playboy photoshoot in the early 90s... Or how about the time Penelope Cruz made out with her own sister in a video directed by their brother - just to help out the kid bro gain some instant notoriety? All good causes right there, right? Only such things could bring two sisters so close...!
In other shots - the bereaved Joannie Rochette loks just sad enough on her pic - she takes after Sylvie Fréchette in a tradition of Olympic athletes hailing from Culbec that compete no matter what tragedy befalls them... But Syivie never disrobed so soon after - or ever, in fact - after the fact!
The whole local band called Simple Plan took everything off for this campaign, too - talk about standing united! Did they ever see their inspiration, the great U.K. outfit Simple Minds, do anything like this, though? Granted, some of the Simple Minds band members didn't live long enough to see such an, er, opportunity come their way... The surviving ones, and the replacements, were much too British, I guess: no sex please, we're British - right? Right...
Absent from this campaign -and, as they would say, brillant, incandescent, resplendissant par leur absence- are several punks whose style, demeanor, candor an all-around "punkiness" truly made this sort of thing quite simply perfect for them! So, why did they not participate? Why were they not invited to take part in this nakedfest for a gooder-than-good cause?!? We are thinking, most specifically here, of loudmouth Guy A. Lepage, so-called comedian Mike Ward and several politicians maybe...? (Anyone who ever wondered what Pauline Marois looks like unclothed raise your hand - HAND I said!)
Sure, the sight of these punks with no clothes on would have been quite traumatic - and people would have developed an aversion toward Centraide rather than the opposite beneficial effect so desperately sought here...!
But then again - maybe it would have spurred on the masses to give loads of money - just in the hopes that they retire those shots from the myriad places that they have been assailing every innocent pair of eyes: in the subway, on the sides of buses, on several billboards across town...
No wonder Hugh Hefner is in trouble these days - he no longer has the monopoly on smuttiness... I mean, "tasteful nudity", right...
Next!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Speaking of GUY A...
Recently there were rumours that he, his old cohorts from that wretched RBO clique and their former manager too, would all be getting to be the recipients of some sort of honorific emblem from their government - a medal or something...!
That boggles the mind - mais passons...
Guy A Lepage has had such a mean streak come out of him at all levels since he started manifesting himself to the masses: you wouldn't believe... If you think I'm mean, sometimes, what will you think of this guy -Guy- then? Let's look at a few highlights here...
On the radio, where RBO started out, anything was fair game. He would mercilessly make fun of everyone and anyone, as any true comedian would do, right? One of his favorite victims was Belgazou. Belgazou was the stage name (ou nom d'artiste) of some local singer who registered a string of hits while RBO were still trying to make a (nasty) reputation for themselves. Talk About It, "L'Accélérateur" and "Quitter Ton Île" were such songs that made Belgazou, née Diane Guérin, the Culbec precursor of Ke$ha, if you will... RBO, led by Guy A, could not stop making fun of Guérin's chosen nom d'artiste - they thought "Belgazou" just sounded so goofy that they couldn't let up mocking it!
Soon enough, Belgazou's career was over.
On the 10th anniversary of the now deemed to be a "phenomenon" RBO (which stands for Rock et Belles Oreilles - more than evidently based upon the French name of one Huckleberry Hound which was "Roquet Belles Oreilles" - now isn't THAT goofy, eh?) we saw Diane Guérin come out with a bouquet of all things (not a stink bomb) for Guy A... No hard feelings - good.
Guy A went on to do some TV with his RBO gang, a period of time during which they spoofed everything, everyone and did so mercilessly as without one iota of discrimination either. Guy A shone through mostly with his portrayal of the amalgamatuon of a generic super-hero type (say, Superman) and the Lord of lords Himself, Jesus-Christ. Once again, the simplest name was given to the concept: "Super-Jésus". I won't link that up here: if you want to peek at it, you look for it on YouTube or somewhere else...!
Also during that period, near the end of it really, the group was given the momentous task to helm the year-end special mimicking the SRC Bye Bye tradition: they would, ironically, do some Bye Bye shows of their own in later years. But that particular one, the first such experience of the kind for them, was done for the defunct network TQS - is it any wonder it is a defunct network now? In it, the group had the brilliant idea to spoof the separatist Parti Québécois and Bloc Québécois into a nazi-type of oppression that had politician Lucien Bouchard rethink his political aspirations, career and heck, even agenda!
No one, absolutely no one thought it was funny. In poor taste, yes - extreme poor taste - that was unanimous. But funny? Not a chance.
Perhaps due to their lack of funny bone, the band disbanded. RBO is indeed gifted but only for biting satire and that can be done by anyone - even Ann Coulter. They are not endowed with genuine funny bones, in the sense that Jerry Lewis gave to the expression. One of them went on to do some commercials, being some sort of Jon Lovitz or Leslie Nielsen of Culbec. Another went on to direct - given that chance by his connections. Another still went right back to radio. Guy A went on to try and be the Jay Leno of Culbec television. And he was given that chance by nothing less than the SRC, la Société Radio-Canada, clearly desperate to reconnect with the people and stop being perceived as an elitist. The SRC homegrown talent (Patrice L'Écuyer - that's it) was given a talk-show of his own once upon a time - but it simply failed to attract any viewership. Guy A, through his sheer controversial style, does manage so much, at least. Guy A chose an openly gay co-host, in order to be deemed to be "a good guy after all". And he accepts, unlike two former members, to reunite periodically with his former cohorts of RBO for joint projects, giving a chance to the other three guys to make some extra cash, as they were not so fortunate to land what Guy A landed, somehow...
On that show that he has on the SRC (only once a week, every Sunday night to boot - that is the closest that he can get to be the Culbec version of Jay Leno - and he needs a lead-in show featuring a CGI host that used to be a puppet: Gérard D. Laflaque) Guy A has shown himself to be less than a good guy though. And, on occasion, he even shows himself to be quite the jerk. Even foreign guests have noticed that: one notable, hailing from France, stated after his experience on the show that he now understood what the "A" stood for... Guy A once invited former singing star Chantal Pary, expressly to embarrass her with questions about her remarriage with a much younger, obviously gay, chubby, would-be singing star guy... Also on his agenda were questions about the time she got caught shoplifting. Had she not been caught giving in to her compulsive kleptomania, she would not have been invited to the show. What does Guy A care about former stars and what they may be doing now, if it isn't good enough to embarrass in front of his viewers? Said viewerbase is diminished every Sunday though, as the rival TVA chose Sunday to have broadcast their reality-TV crap called "Occupation Double" - and, this time, they burst their budget and went out to Europe, setting up their contestants in Portugal (which is paradise, weather-wise, compared to Culbec and Canada overall...) helping out a country in economical turmoil by the same token - not that Portugal really needs that kind of help... But that is another story.
Guy A likes to humiliate, basically - it is in his nature, no matter what he tries to say or do.
And it was never more evident than when he made a statement during his acceptance of that medal he got - whatever it was.
Fact is, whatever it may be, it does come from the government of Culbec - and so, it champions the use of the French language (le joual, really - but that is another story too) and Guy A felt like showing off a bit then...
Guy A claimed that he was appalled by any commerce that did not serve its clients in French. And he further stated that every single time he went into some business establishment and the personnel there approached him in English, he just turned tail and left. Not only that, he would then pull out his cell phone and rat on them to the august Office de la Protection de la Langue Française...!
Guy A - don't you realize that by revealing these details (if any of it is true, of course - and I am sure that the part where he gets approached in English is) you are in fact revealing, all at once, how execrable and lacking in notoriety you really are, in truth? Because, if you rat on them every time, you are like the nazi of service - YOU! Not Bouchard, not anyone else of the PQ or, coincidentally alos near-defunct BQ now...
And if they approach you in English, then it implies that they don't have any clue whatsoever who in blue blazes you are.
Now that is the honor that you truly deserve, Guy A.
And I tell you so here - IN ENGLISH.
;-)
Labels: luminous pundit blogger me, Quash Quebec Time - again
posted by Luminous (\ô/) Luciano™ at 9:55 PM
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