Wordsmith For Hire - Editorialist Position Sought - and here is what I can do...!

For those of you half-a-world-away, thinking that Canada is indeed this sort of utopia made-up entirely of polite and extra-friendly citizens - well, THINK AGAIN!

I tell you - any given North American city (and, particularly New York and any imitative/envious Canadian "bigger than average" township!) are as NASTY, CRUDE and SICKENING as they come! You think you can find 1001 novel ways of CROAKING, right there in the middle of the street, whether it be in Beirut, Islamabad, Kandahar or, gee, I think I've ran out of trouble spots here... Ah yes; anything in the Gaza Strip will do too, right? WELL - I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU: it can happen TO and/or FOR you on North American soil too! A thousand different ways indeed.

Right now, a stabbing frenzy seems to be possessing everyone around the twin towns of doom: Laval & Montreal! Three incidents narrowingly within 24 hours, two of which in the subway and the middle one... on the highway!

A 22 year-old was stabbed while riding the metro home from work. He was in critical condition last I heard...
A 16 year-old GIRL was stabbed in the THROAT at Vendôme metro station; hey, I know that station! I remember it very well... Hence, it could have been *me*! It could have been you as well - it could happen to anyone.
The motorist who somehow got stabbed while circulating on the highway must have had taken in THE WRONGEST PASSENGER HE EVER COULD HAVE - details were sketchy at pundit bandit blogging time in order to confirm it was a hitchhiker-from-hell type who did this... sorry!

I suppose that everyone should carry a pocket knife with them wherever they go now - eh? Or pepper spray. Mace. Knuckles bar. Not that I'm condoning all this - whoo-oh! But self-defense needs to be empowered, just in case, for, quite obviously, you never do know...

At the same time, the local bigwig *croque-mort* coroner calls for an official investigation into the suddenly now very "suspicious" death of a muslim back in 2005... What, it took you three plus years to notice something was not kosher there (no cross-religion joke intended!) - what kind of Clouseaus are you anyway?!? Even good old Chief Inspector Clouseau, at his most pathetic, was quicker on the uptake than THAT... Sheesh!

I wonder if any of those victims were STUDENTS? Because if they were, and were part of a certain class-action suit, and had contributed above and beyond the call of duty to their STUDENT LOAN payback rip-off scam - I mean, "PLAN" - well they're gonna miss out on the big payoff now... Yes, it has been settled just recently and 80,000 students who overpaid the exaggerated interest charged on those loans are going to be sharing the reward of the fair and equitable justice system there, a whopping 30 MILLION! No calculators now, students - 30 MIL divided by 80,000 lucky studious kiddies amounts to... a measly 375$ EACH! Not even enough to PAY RENT! Bummer.

I guess the stabbed ones aren't missing a thing then.
THEY were THE LUCKY ONES.

80,000 is coincidentally a similar figure to the unveiled total number of births for 2007 in that wretched area: it's 84,000 to be exact, which represents an increase of 3% when one looks at the numbers for the worst year ever - 2006. (Okay, I'm sure we'll all get plenty of more convincing contenders for "worst year ever" between now and 2013 - happy?)

84,000+ - man alive, hoes like to do it unprotected after all, eh? The fact is, statistics that come with this figure aren't ''GOOD'' by any means - AT ALL. "One out of five" of these kids is said to be "vulnerable" they said. Whatever they mean by that! Maybe it has to do with the fact that MORE than one out of five is a certifiable little bastard? Two out of five have a screw loose too - considering the genetic make-up they come from... (It's usually the unwed, unemployed and uneducated that reproduce the most, in those parts!)
I'd say three out of five are likely to be dropouts then - and, just the week before the release of these numbers, other numbers had been issued and there was this one school in the heart of Montreal with a dropout rate of 94 point something percent...! Aye, nearly 95% of its students DROPPED OUT! WOW - that has GOT to be a record "worthy" of the Guinness Book of World Records - in the least flattering section, of course! Congratulations - what else?

Finally, four out of five will be condescending even if ignorant snotty little punks of the RACIST kind and 5 out of 5 will never really speak French - only some sort of mangled distortion of it, either to be called "joual" or "franglais"... Great going, Quebec - keep making froggy babies, eh?

One final 80,000+ figure for you - in the month of April alone, there were nearly 88,000 BANKRUPTCIES filings, a 19% increase when the inevitable comparison is made with the month of March... Things SURE DO LOOK A LOT LIKE... recession times here (what, you thought it was "beginning to look a lot like Christmas" or something?)

Just as all these bad news come out, Hillary is finally losing "officially" to Barack Obama - Geraldine Ferraro, Alexa McDonough and that Conservative chick time forgot breathe a collective sigh of relief: lesbo Hilary will *not* be joining their exclusive elite club; not just yet, anyhow!

Meanwhile, ongoing trials of importance are taking place at the same time: that of this Basil creep, the one who shot policeman Daniel Tessier full of holes, last year. He is seen coming to court with his best suit, flanked by his lookalike daddy, lookalike older son (lest it's his brother?) and scumalike WIFEY... The system will probably let him off with only a few years and a slap on the wrist - after all, he was asleep and was rudely awakened by the cops - he didn't know who he was shooting, poor baby Basil! What a travesty of justice!

And also at the same time, two additional accusations were made in the gruesome MICHAUD CASE; this governmental aide who was kidnapped and found dead - but it had nothing to do with her work at all, so conspiracy theorists need not apply.

I guess the autopsy raised questions that should have been obvious from the very start - but again, Clouseaus... I mean, disturbed younger man kidnaps a classy ravishing lady about 15 years older - what were the odds he would only steal from her...

Two additional accusations were finally brought against the murder suspect in the tragic, heart-wrenching case spoken of here; and they are very disturbing accusations too. For it would ''appear'' that the suspect "may also have" sexually assaulted Mrs. Nancy Michaud - twice.

The second assault is indeed an accusation of necrophilia.

This individual is realistically the only possible agressor in this case - but, in the eyes of the law, every accused party is still to be seen as "innocent until proven guilty" - hence the terminology used: always referring to him as a mere "suspect" in the case (in his local language it is "le présumé meurtrier" of course.)

So is the system up there, in Quebec - it protects the criminals and makes the victims the ones truly on trial as THEY have the burden of proof, not them! It sickens so mightily...

I do not need to merely presume here - I can bluntly say that he is a sick bastard.

And it has nothing to do with any environment shaping him out as such; I make it personal and blame him and only him. And the dark soul that resides within this individual.

The proof is already there - just open your eyes, you damn fools, and don't let another guilty party get away too easy - again.

And trust me: there are MANY like him here, of BOTH genders...
Wolves in sheep's clothing ABOUND all over North America...
The American Dream IS a scream - and a screamfest too!

So, you see, Afghan and Iraqi refugees can do much better than coming HERE...

I suggest you try the European Union instead!
It's closer and, besides, the Euro is TOPS... for now!